Posted on : 30-08-2010 | By : dianne | In : Computer Dating
We have been dating for a year and a half, and my boyfriend occassionally chats with his ex online when they both are on. He said he wont avoid her cause they are friends, and he also said he would stop if it bothered me, but I found out he didnt and continues to talk to her once in awhile. Hes not the type of person to cheat, and I trust him a lot but not after I found this out. Should I be concerned or what?? im confused
First of all if you asked him to stop talking to her & he said he would then he lied to you. I might be some what concerned, but it depends if they were friends way before they ever started dating then I wouldn’t see a big problem with it. Some people just realize they’re better off as friends & there’s nothing wrong with that. If its occasionally then I wouldn’t see a problem with it, its not like they talk or text one another on the phone. By the way, if you think he’s not the type to cheat then why is it such a big deal? Which, by the way I think you’re wrong! Every person is capable of cheating! Been there, done that with women who I thought would never cheat. If he’s been with you for one & a half years I wouldn’t worry about it. If they’re just friendly conversations, like hi how have you been. I’m fine, blah, blah blah then that’s it then I wouldn’t make it into a big deal. Especially if their conversations only last a couple minutes, 10 minutes at most. Most importantly does she know he has a girlfriend, if she doesn’t then he hasn’t told her then I’d be concerned especially if its been a year & a half.
NEVER! Can lead to more!
it depends.! check up on their conversation and see what they have been talking about/… i guess!
wel she was there b4 you now, i mean if he say they r jus friends an only talk occasional on da computer den it shudd nt be a problem i see
LOL, SOMEONE’S PARANOID.
Your poor boyfriend. Tsk.
Let him chat with his ex. It’s just not right to force someone to cut off a friend because you’re insecure. And he’ll resent you for your lack of trust.
Well I don’t know but I talk to my ex all the time and his girlfriend has nothing to worry about so I’d give him the benefit and don’t control him just let him be as long as it isn’t everyday it’s fine
Don’t be concerned. You can’t stop him from talking to his friends, even when his friend is his ex. They can still be friends and there’s nothing anyone can do to destroy their friendship. Trust him wholly and treat him sweetly.
Hope this helps
Well… seeing as it is a free country… I would say it’s ok for him to talk to her whenever he wants!
Your not his wife… so he has no reason to stop talking to his friends simply because you are insecure… I don’t mean to sound rude… but seriously… lighten up… your his girlfriend not his wife.
If you are not comfortable with it, tell him, if he doesnt stop doing it, then you have your answer as to whether or not he cares about your feelings.
Peace
It should be ok for him to talk to his ex. They were friends before they were together. I think it is awesome to be able to be mature enough to remain friends. As for your feelings, well they are real, just try to remember he’s with you not her. Good luck. God Bless you
If he’s lying to you then I would think he is just sticking around to avoid the drama of leaving. He could still have feelings for her and waiting for her to take him back. Maybe his girlfriend was a skank and he’s looking for some no strings stuff.
Tell him if you catch him again you are done. If he cares about you he should respect your feelings. And really follow through
If he is being difficult, cut him off in bed for at least 3 weeks or until he agrees.
Did you say it bothered you? If you did, he’s going back on his word and that is suspicious. You should tell him straight-up that if he cares about your relationship, he wouldn’t do that to you because it makes you uncomfortable. Hell, I would flip if that happened with my boyfriend (he’s pulled plenty of suspicious shit, but nothing of that nature, as far as I know.) Again, honesty and communication go a long way. And if he absolutely INSISTS on talking to his ex/you catch him doing it again, dump him! You don’t need someone who disrespects you like that.
Don’t spy on him. But as a guy… yeah it may start off as nothing but it can build up quickly. Just be upfront and tell him if you really don’t feel comfortable with it. Don’t tell him he "can’t" talk to her, just tell him how it makes you feel. If you have been together this long then he should understand. The biggest concern is that you respect his privacy and show that you trust him. And be calm, let it flow.
Well let’s back track. You said, "If it bothered me…" so I’m just assuming, it did bother you, and you told him, and he still continued? Just straightening out the story. If that’s the case, and it does bother you(which it does most girls, but i see where ur coming from) it all depends.
1) how old are you guys?
2) how serious was he with the previous g/f?
3) if he is talking to her, don’t be concerned until you think you have reason for concern.(him talking to her and not telling you is not concern. I’m talking "spying", but spying is deceitful, so "extra attention" and "gut instincts" are what you need. If you happen to go to him while he’s on the computer, and he’s making a desperate attempt to close the chat window, then there is your concern.)
4) don’t assume he is cheating already, otherwise, he will.
5) just play calm, and don’t be that jealous girl(guys hate those)